please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
