Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
