She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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