Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
