I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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