If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
