would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
