I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
