you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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