she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
