We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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