Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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