it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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