I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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