I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
