I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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