It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
