I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
