Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
