hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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