omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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