How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
