I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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