I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
