I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So much rum. So many feels.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
