come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
