Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
