Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
