Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
should my penis look like a turkey
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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