I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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