U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Randomize
