Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
