quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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