she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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