I want to stick my p in your. b.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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