go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
