Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
