Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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