Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
