Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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