I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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