I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
