Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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