4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
