if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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