I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
