My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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