So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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