The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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