ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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