toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
