she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
