everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
