Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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