his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
