Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
